How we work.
Each group has its own personality and its own history, but one things members can count on is the same meeting outline, use of Al-anon approved literature, and an adherence to anonymity. Al-anon meetings are always the safe place, the right place, to be.
Meeting Outline
Serenity prayer
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
SUGGESTED AL-ANON WELCOME
We welcome you to the __________ Al-Anon Family Group Meeting, and hope you will find in this fellowship the help and friendship we have been privileged to enjoy.
We who live, or have lived, with the problem of alcoholism understand as perhaps few others can. We, too, were lonely and frustrated but in Al-Anon we discover that no situation is really hopeless and that it is possible for us to find contentment and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.
We urge you to try our program. It has helped many of us find solutions that lead to serenity. So much depends on our own attitudes, and as we learn to place our problem in its true perspective, we find it loses its power to dominate our thoughts and our lives.
The family situation is bound to improve as we apply the Al-Anon ideas. Without such spiritual help living with an alcoholic is too much for most of us. Our thinking becomes distorted by trying to force solutions, and we become irritable and unreasonable without knowing it.
The Al-Anon program is based on the suggested Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, which we try, little by little, one day at a time, to apply to our lives along with our slogans and the Serenity Prayer. The loving interchange of help among members and daily reading of Al-Anon literature thus make us ready to receive the priceless gift of serenity.
Anonymity is an important principle of the Al-Anon program. Everything that is said here, in the group meeting and member-to-member, must be held in confidence. Only in this way can we feel free to say what is on our minds and in our hearts, for this is how we help one another in Al-Anon.
We who live, or have lived, with the problem of alcoholism understand as perhaps few others can. We, too, were lonely and frustrated but in Al-Anon we discover that no situation is really hopeless and that it is possible for us to find contentment and even happiness, whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.
We urge you to try our program. It has helped many of us find solutions that lead to serenity. So much depends on our own attitudes, and as we learn to place our problem in its true perspective, we find it loses its power to dominate our thoughts and our lives.
The family situation is bound to improve as we apply the Al-Anon ideas. Without such spiritual help living with an alcoholic is too much for most of us. Our thinking becomes distorted by trying to force solutions, and we become irritable and unreasonable without knowing it.
The Al-Anon program is based on the suggested Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, which we try, little by little, one day at a time, to apply to our lives along with our slogans and the Serenity Prayer. The loving interchange of help among members and daily reading of Al-Anon literature thus make us ready to receive the priceless gift of serenity.
Anonymity is an important principle of the Al-Anon program. Everything that is said here, in the group meeting and member-to-member, must be held in confidence. Only in this way can we feel free to say what is on our minds and in our hearts, for this is how we help one another in Al-Anon.
Twelve STEPS
The Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength and hope in order to solve their common problems. We believe alcoholism is a family illness and that changed attitudes can aid in recovery. Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization or institution. It does not engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any cause. There are no dues for membership. Al-Anon is self-supporting through its own voluntary contributions. Al-Anon has but one purpose to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.
- We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
- Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
- Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
- Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
- Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
- Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
- Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
- Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
- Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
TWELVE TRADITIONS
- Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity.
- For our group purpose there is but one authority—a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants—they do not govern.
- The relatives of alcoholics, when gathered together for mutual aid, may call themselves an Al-Anon Family Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation. The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.
- Each group should be autonomous, except in matters affecting another group or Al-Anon or AA as a whole.
- Each Al-Anon Family Group has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps of AA ourselves, by encouraging and understanding our alcoholic relatives, and by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics.
- Our Family Groups ought never endorse, finance or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim. Although a separate entity, we should always co-operate with Alcoholics Anonymous.
- Every group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
- Al-Anon Twelfth Step work should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
- Our groups, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
- The Al-Anon Family Groups have no opinion on outside issues; hence our name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
- Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films, and TV. We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members.
- Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities.
meeting topics
Topics for Meetings
Below are some of the topics that seem to be of most interest to those who attend Al-Anon Family Groups, or who want to learn more about the program and learn how to deal with their alcoholic friends or relatives.
Below are some of the topics that seem to be of most interest to those who attend Al-Anon Family Groups, or who want to learn more about the program and learn how to deal with their alcoholic friends or relatives.
- Acceptance
- Alcoholism as a Disease
- Dealing With Anger
- Changing Attitudes
- Dealing With Change
- Choices
- Control Issues
- Courage to Change
- Dealing With Crisis
- Denial
- Detachment
- Enabling
- Unreasonable Expectations
- Emptiness
- A Family Disease
- Fear of Abandonment
- Focus on Ourselves
- Forgiveness
- Gratitude
- Growing One Day at a Time
- Honesty
- Keep It Simple
- Let Go and Let God
- Live and Let Live
- Looking After Yourself
- Mind Your Own Business
- One Day at a Time
- Powerless
- Dealing With Rejection
- Restoration to Sanity
- Self Esteem
- Serenity
- Trust
- Understanding and Encouragement
- Unreasonable Without Knowing It
- Dealing With Verbal Abuse
AL-ANON DECLORATION
Let it Begin with Me...When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help, let the hand of Al-Anon and Alateen always be there, and...Let it Begin with Me.
Useful Materials
Slogans
Easy Does It
Feelings Aren’t Facts
First Things First
How Important Is It?
If In Doubt, Don’t
Just For Today
Keep An Open Mind
Keep Coming Back
Keep It Simple
Keep The Focus On Yourself
Let Go And Let God
Let It Begin With Me
Listen And Learn
Live And Let Live
Live At Peace With Ourselves And Others
Look Back Without Staring
Obedience To The Unenforceable
One Day At A Time
Principles Above Personalities
Progress, Not Perfection
Quiet The Mind, Open The Heart
Take Care Of Yourself
Think (Stop And Think)
This Too Shall Pass
Together We Can Make It
Feelings Aren’t Facts
First Things First
How Important Is It?
If In Doubt, Don’t
Just For Today
Keep An Open Mind
Keep Coming Back
Keep It Simple
Keep The Focus On Yourself
Let Go And Let God
Let It Begin With Me
Listen And Learn
Live And Let Live
Live At Peace With Ourselves And Others
Look Back Without Staring
Obedience To The Unenforceable
One Day At A Time
Principles Above Personalities
Progress, Not Perfection
Quiet The Mind, Open The Heart
Take Care Of Yourself
Think (Stop And Think)
This Too Shall Pass
Together We Can Make It
Acronyms
Three A’s – Awareness, Acceptance, Action
Three C’s – I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, I can’t cure it
Detach – Don’t Ever Think About Changing Him/Her
Fear – False Evidence Appearing Real
Three G’s – Get off their back, Get out of their way, Get on with your own life
How – Honest, Open, Willing
Four Unwanted M’s – Martyrdom, Managing, Manipulating, Mothering
Three Unwanted P’s – Perfectionism, Procrastination, Paralysis
Qtip – Quit Taking It Personal
Think! – is it… Thoughtful, Honest, Intelligent, Necessary, Kind
Halt – don’t get too… Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired
Wait – Why Am I Talking?
Three C’s – I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it, I can’t cure it
Detach – Don’t Ever Think About Changing Him/Her
Fear – False Evidence Appearing Real
Three G’s – Get off their back, Get out of their way, Get on with your own life
How – Honest, Open, Willing
Four Unwanted M’s – Martyrdom, Managing, Manipulating, Mothering
Three Unwanted P’s – Perfectionism, Procrastination, Paralysis
Qtip – Quit Taking It Personal
Think! – is it… Thoughtful, Honest, Intelligent, Necessary, Kind
Halt – don’t get too… Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired
Wait – Why Am I Talking?
design for living
Go to meetings.
Read Al-Anon materials.
Get a sponsor.
Study the Steps.
Be of service to others.
Read Al-Anon materials.
Get a sponsor.
Study the Steps.
Be of service to others.